I visited a local naturopathic physician a couple of weeks ago in my never-ending quest to achieve better health. Part of his treatment plan for me involves spending more time preparing and eating (not “consuming,” a distasteful term that reminds me of wild animals devouring their prey) my meals. He even said, “You know how the French eat? They take their time eating their food, making it a pleasurable experience, arranging the table so that it’s pleasing to the eye as much as the food is pleasing to the palate.” I sighed happily, thinking, Yeah, this doctor so gets me.
No kidding. B. and I have gone through periods where we actually sit at the table with proper settings and eat proper meals. I’m talking full settings, eating Continental-style (something I still struggle with, as I’ve spent most of my life eating Filipino-style, i.e., with a spoon in my right hand and the fork in the left), using pretty cotton napkins, the TV turned off, maybe even fresh flowers serving as the centerpiece. But then something inevitably happens — work- or family-related stresses pile up, one of us (usually I) falls ill, or whatever, and the next thing we know, bam! We’re back munching mindlessly on our suppers on the couch in front of the telly. Granted, we still use the cotton napkins, placemats and even our wedding china (seriously, why have it if you’re not going to use it all the time?), and we still eat homemade meals, but it lacks not only the class and dignity of the sit-down dinner but also the relaxing benefits, non?
So now, it’s doctor’s orders, and I’m determined to not slip into old habits once again just because of a bad day. I’ve cleaned off the mail, old newspapers, library books, and other clutter scattered around the tabletop and have made sure that the table is properly and fully set at all times. Since it’s just the two of us, that just involves a placemat (my favorite place to shop for them is Pier 1 and World Market), dinner knife and spoon on the right (okay, yes, that’s one habit I’ll probably never discard completely), dinner fork on the left, dessert spoon and fork above the plate, water glass on the upper right corner, cotton napkin neatly slipped into a napkin holder and placed on the middle of the plate. Although I love wine, I haven’t been able to drink it much lately, but once I do, I’ll add two goblets to that tablescape.
On the center of the table, I have a cute little shamrock-dotted sugar bowl that I bought while in Dublin, glass salt and pepper shakers, a small basket for bread, and a dark wood Indonesian trivet. In the winter, I usually have a seasonal tablecloth, but lately I’ve taken to leaving the surface bare and letting the settings serve as the decor.
We still occasionally eat breakfast with the TV on (usually if we’re eating solo), but since the good doctor’s admonition we’ve made dinner and lunch into daily sacred rituals, with the TV immediately turned off and our respective attention directed at the food and/or each other. I once read that the average American couple spends 12 minutes of each day in conversation. Even before we began eating properly, we probably spent at least two hours of each day (even weekdays) in conversation — it helps when you’re each other’s best friend, and no, please don’t hate us because we’re just so darn in love — but that time’s definitely bloomed and expanded since carving out that time at the dinner table without the easy distraction of commercial TV.
Last night, I spent almost two hours making a really elaborate meal of chicken fried rice, gratin de pommes de terre Lyonnaise aux baies rouges, and sauteed kale. Odd combination, to be sure, and the flavors probably weren’t completely compatible, but I loved the effort. (I was really trying to clean out the fridge.) And really, isn’t much of it just about the effort? The easy part turned out to be dessert: B. had a chocolate chip cookie bar that I’d made (and is my specialty), while I melted a 1/4 cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips in the microwave (2 minutes on High, then stir with spoon or fork) and used it as a fondue dip for pear slices. Yum.
I think I could get used to this new treatment regimen.
(Creamy Potato and Onion Gratin with Pink Peppercorns)
from The Vegetarian Bistro: 250 Authentic French Regional Recipes, by
Marlena Spieler
2 onions, thinly sliced
3-5 garlic cloves, minced
Freshly grated nutmeg, to taste
Salt and pepper to taste
3 tablespoons butter
1 cup heavy cream
1-2 teaspoons pink peppercorns
2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley
- Preheat the oven to 375 F.
- Butter the bottom and sides of an earthenware gratin or baking dish. Make a layer of potatoes, then onions, then potatoes, etc., sprinkling each layer with garlic, nutmeg, salt, pepper, and all but 2 teaspoons of the butter
- End with a layer of potatoes, pour the cream over the top, then dot with the remaining 2 teaspoons butter and sprinkle with salt and pepper.
- Bake for 1 hour, or until the potatoes and onions are very tender and have absorbed the cream, and the top of the casserole is golden brown.
- Serve right away, sprinkled with the pink peppercorns and parsley.
Note: Pink peppercorns cannot be had in my remote valley, but the dish didn’t appear to be the worse for it. This dish makes a really mouthwatering side dish and would be perfect for a holiday dinner (say, Easter) or a Sunday supper. Wouldn’t recommend it with fried rice, though.
Lastly, here’s a photo of me and B. just prior to our scheduled (and ultimately doomed) move to a new place. Ah, the bliss of innocence. Or maybe ignorance. Whatever the case may be, we’re at least happy that the boxes you see piled up behind us are now unpacked and put away. Now if we can just get up the energy to work on the 2nd floor…
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{ 12 comments }
Well Slow food (http://www.slowfood.com/, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slow_Food ) its a movement gaining lots of new adepts. I think that the mediterranean way of slow, talking and relaxed its like meditation in the morning (loading your inner battery).
For me french food has to much butter on it
That’s a great picture of you two, and I love that you’re wearing a striped top in it! ;D
I can totally identify with this post. Hubby and I had the best dinner of our lives in Paris, and it wasn’t just the food. We spent about 2.5 hours enjoying each course individually (smaller portions but it’s perfect because then you can actually eat each course!), savoring a bottle of wine, and spending relatively uninterrupted time together. Of course we were about 2 inches from the couples on either side of us, one of which was an older couple with their little fluffy white dog, but we were so mesmerized by the meal, it didn’t matter how close we all were (and the dog was pretty funny sniffing the air ;D). Everyone took a long time as well – we all arrived and left around the same time. Taking that much time allows you to enjoy your food and means you won’t feel as bloated or stuffed afterwards. We don’t always do that when we’re at home, but we do try to do it when we go out.
Twelve minutes? That much?
We should probably try the slower eating – well I should, my wife smartly takes her time – but it’s hard when it’s so damn tasty. Plus, I’d hate to turn off the Cavs game.
Xav and I have gotten in the habit of (mostly) eating meals on the dining table with the TV off. Not our choice though, it’s just easier to feed Thomas in his high chair. The elusive part is relaxation. Once Thomas starts on his food, it’s a good bet it’ll land on his shirt and on the floor. Then picture a dog scurrying under the table to see who’ll feed her next. Yes, our meals lack peace but it’s never boring.
On another note, great picture of you and B!
Dear Joaquin, greetings, and thanks for visiting my site! Yes, I love the Slow Food movement and wish we had a chapter here in my little corner of the world. As you can see, I love the Mediterranean way of life (which was the way we lived life in the Philippines when I was a child) and am trying to incorporate more of its elements into my own current life. It’s a work in progress.
And yes, French food does take up a lot of butter, but that’s part of the reason why I love it!
Dear AS, thank you! Yeah, I didn’t even think about it until after I’d posted the photo, but you know, I’ve always been very partial to striped shirts with 3/4-length sleeves. An easy way to “dress French!”
I love your anecdote about your dinner in Paris! B. and I used to do the same when we traveled, but lately it seems we’ve gotten stuck in a rut, so the doctor’s orders came at just the right time.
Randal, I have to admit, come April 3rd (when NBC’s Must-See TV comes back with new episodes of The Office, 30 Rock and Scrubs comes on, we’ll probably have to park ourselves in front of the telly, if only for that evening. It is hard to eat slowly — took years of mindfulness! I used to scarf down a burger, fries and drink in less than 5 minutes (I know — I clocked myself once). But it’s worth the effort.
Dear Joanne, first of all, welcome to the blogosphere! Secondly, I laughed when I read your anecdote.
Probably not very funny when you’re actually in it, but family life is just filled with hilarious scenes like that in hindsight, non?
Salut,
Marjorie
Some American habits are hard to break, even when living in France. Mr Chic travels a lot, and I find that when he’s away Chiclette (age 14) and I lapse into bad habits, eating too quickly in silence with our noses in books (we don’t have a tv). Chiclette is a total bookworm. She’s in seconde (10th grade) and gets so much homework in her french lycee that she doesn’t have much time to indulge in pleasure reading. But she has a 2-hour break at school for lunch, so now that the weather is (hopefully) improving, she can go sit on her favorite bench by the statue of Ronsard and get some pleasure reading in. Maybe then she can actually talk to her dear old mom over dinner.
Your post is a good reminder of the importance of eating slowly and enjoying the social aspects of dining.
Karen in Paris
Dear Karen, ah, so I’m not the only one who does the whole reading-while-dining thing. I started doing that when I was a wee pre-teen in the Philippines — I remember a cousin/neighbor coming up to me at the table, staring first at me, then my book, before asking, “Why are you reading while eating?” ‘Cause.
It is indeed a very hard habit to break. I suspect that it partly comes from the very American notion that one must always be productive, even when at the table. (I guess eating isn’t considered a productive activity.) Plus, we’re just such a rushed society in general that food isn’t pleasure, it’s fuel. A disgusting analogy, but there you go.
How are you managing to break that habit, if I may ask? B. and I are slowly breaking the habit of eating in front of the TV, but when I’m alone, I definitely want a book or mag in front of me while I eat. Do you have any tips to share?
Merci!
Salut,
Marjorie
Dear Marjorie, I did the same thing when I was growing up (as the only bookworm in a large family), which is why I’m a bit indulgent with my daughter in this regard. And early in my relationship with Mr Chic, when we were both Washington, DC workaholics, we would meet up for dinner at a restaurant every evening around 9 pm and sit there reading our books. That’s how I knew he was the one!
In January, I went to California for 3 weeks and Chiclette stayed with her godparents, who are French. I reminded her that there would be no reading at their table. She said it was like going to a dinner party every night: minimum 1.5 hours at the table (of course a real dinner party would entail more than twice that), meat at least 4 times a week (we have meat maybe once every 2 weeks chez nous– her godmother chided me later for not properly feeding a menstruating girl), cheese course every night, and dessert every night (during the week generally petite suisse/danone-type of packaged custardy things).
I’m unlikely ever to make weeknight dinner a 1.5 hour affair. At this point I’d be happy to get it up to half an hour of non-reading eating and interaction. I do cook every night (never take out and only rarely frozen, although the chain Picard has pretty high quality stuff). But dinner for us is generally something like soup and salad or tart/quiche or vegetarian dish such as couscous or fish/chicken — no cheese course and generally no dessert (we have tea and chocolate when she gets home from school and we make special desserts on the weekends). I think she gets enough iron in the things we eat (eggs, lentils, etc.) — at any rate she’s 5’11″ and not anemic.
For me the key is routine (in this and everything else). It’s more likely to happen if I set the expectations (no reading during dinner), fix a regular dinner hour (8 pm), and make sure the dining room table is cleared (it’s also my desk). The dinner hour is usually thrown off when Mr Chic is home because he often has conference calls with the States at that time. But at least it’s something to aim for.
Our progress so far? Well, we’ve gone from reading over dinner to doing SAT prep cards, which oddly enough has prompted entertaining conversations comparing my American and her French high school experiences. Maybe someday soon we’ll be ready to do this without props! That is if I can overcome that American penchant for productivity . . .
Karen in Paris
Dear Karen, I burst out laughing when I read your first paragraph. I knew B. was the one when he went to Barnes & Noble with me one Saturday afternoon. We spent probably 2-3 hours just sitting there, sipping coffee, nibbling on a shared pastry, and reading tons of magazines and books. A friend who worked at Borders laughingly called us “squatters” but I didn’t care. It’s a ritual we still indulge in every few weeks!
I really appreciate that you shared your dining rituals in your post. It’s not often I get a glimpse into a modern French household’s mealtime experiences. I sometimes put out a cheese course, but as it’s a very expensive indulgence for us, the selection is quite limited. As B. is vegetarian, most of our meals such and generally prepared at home — partly because of finances and also because our choice of good dining options is rather limited in these parts.
I find it difficult to fathom how one could possibly spend 1.5 hours just on dinner alone. I think that’s how long it takes me to prepare and consume it, unless it’s an actual dinner party with guests and courses. (Oh dear, did I just write consume to refer to a meal? Ugh. That’s just the American part of me rearing its productive head.)
Still, I guess when you’re only eating 1-2 courses, I suppose it’s easier to have a shorter time at the table.
I don’t think I could wait until 8pm, though! Do you eat anything with your after-school tea/chocolate? How do you make it to dinner without being famished?
I hope you don’t mind these rather intrusive questions. Inquiring minds do want to know!
Merci for your generous thoughts!
Salut,
Marjorie
I don’t mind the questions at all. Chiclette is in school until 5 or 6 pm, so she’s not home until almost 6 or 7 pm. Thus our tea and chocolate is almost more of an aperatif before dinner — no time to get hungry in between!
Dinner tends to be later here. I know that if you show up at some neighborhood restaurants at 7 pm, the staff may still be eating before the beginning of their shifts. So I think that 8 pm is a pretty normal dinner hour, and with our schedules it would be hard to do it any earlier.
I’ve been to plenty of French dinner parties, but I’ve never lived with a French family and have no French in-laws, so I haven’t had much exposure to the more routine, day-to-day way of dining. It was interesting to me to hear my daughter’s experiences of living “really french” for 3 weeks.
I tend to get the really good cheeses only for dinner parties. If I had Brillat-Savarin in the house all the time I’d be serving myself some every time I hit writer’s block (ie, all day long
One more thought: as a relationship test, I think the ability to quietly read together is an excellent one. Next month makes 22 years together for Mr Chic and me!
Now I have 10 minutes to get dinner on the table . . .
Karen
Dear Karen, bonjour!
I find it interesting, the different times at which people dine around the world. In the Philippines, which one would think would inherit the late-dining practices of the Spaniards, we generally ate around 6 or 7, never later. (Although drinking parties could last well until midnight during the week, well after during the weekends.)
In Japan, it’s much the same, with the dinner hour around 7.
My Spanish and Argentinian and Brazilian friends, on the other hand, can’t fathom eating dinner to early. They tuck in around 9 or 10. I imagine their schedules allow for it, but as an early riser and early diner, I would find the adjustment difficult.
We used to have a gourmet shop here in the Valley, but they closed it a few months ago. Now the only place to get a halfway decent cheese selection is at the local Safeway. I suppose it’s better than nothing, but it’s unimaginable to me to have hundreds of cheeses at one’s disposal!
How do you serve the cheese? On a wooden board? With some crackers? Do you serve a separate wine with that?
As for the reading, yes, I love reading with B. nearby. We don’t have a couch (my stepdad is giving us theirs and will be driving it up here from Texas as soon as the weather allows), so we miss our routine of reading on the couch with my legs propped on his lap. Sigh But Borders or Barnes & Noble are decent alternatives in the meantime!
I think I’ll email you in a few minutes, if that’s okay. Thanks so much for your thoughtful and interesting answers to my nosy questions!
Salut,
Marjorie
Rats. Karen, I just realized that you don’t have Google blog/account, otherwise I would’ve emailed you.
Anyway, I was wondering if you would be open to being interviewed for my blog? I’d love to do profiles of sorts of fellow Francophiles and expats in France. If you’re interested, please email me at myinnerfrenchgirl at gmail dot com. Merci!
Salut,
Marjorie
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