The title of this post isn’t very SEO-friendly–and as an online marketing consultant, I should know better, but what the hey–but it came to me as I was driving through Dallas last night, on the way home from an event that one of my clients held to promote her business, and I idly noticed a little butterfly zip across my windshield as I came barreling down Oak Lawn Avenue in Dallas. I wondered briefly what happened to the fragile little creature, if she made it across the busy intersection, or if she met an untimely demise on her way there.
Most of us, of course, don’t spend that much time thinking about the odd animal or two that crosses our path, even if they’re skipping
right across our windshield, but the moment, however fleeting, left a shadow in my memory banks. My life has been in crazy mode for the last 2-3 months, as my client list suddenly zoomed from 1 to 8. Or 9. I lost count. It’s a blessing, of course, and far be it for me to complain, especially in this recession. I’m thankful for the opportunity to make a living doing what I’m absolutely mad about, to get paid to be creative. How many of us can speak that lovely truth every day?
But I also know that the workload as it stands is untenable, that sleeping 5 hours a night is nuts, and that while balance is nearly impossible when you’re running a small business, no one can be all things all at once, and that something inevitably must give.
After working 80-hour weeks the last few months, I was stricken with a bad sinus infection that went undiagnosed for a few days while I pushed on with my work, convincing myself all the while that it’s only a prolonged bout of allergies, that this too shall pass. Uhm, that was a wee bit optimistic of me, but now, after a week of basically lying on my back being utterly useless, I’ve apparently forgotten all the promises I made to myself and to B. about eating better, getting more sleep, blah blah blah.
It’s interesting that the word “entrepreneur’ has French origin, because in English it has such powerful connotations. An entrepreneur in the American sense has tremendous drive, ambition and is almost a force of nature, thriving on challenges, numerous setbacks, and an unbelievable amount of hard, brutal work. Not quite the image we have of the laidback French, who almost pride themselves on their aversion to anything remotely resembling hard labor. That’s not to say that the French are lazy–although I know more than a few Europeans who would happily make that statement–and statistics have shown that while they enjoy fewer working hours than we do, their productivity rates actually nearly equal ours.
Still, the reality is that they do have several weeks of vacation and take every single day of it; they continue to fight tooth-and-nail for the sanctity of the 35-hour work week; they practically perfected the art and culture of cafe society. We, on the other hand, demand–and get–drive-thrus at even Starbucks; often give up even the vacation days we’re entitled to; and are happy if we work less than 50 hours a week.
The entrepreneur? Vacations don’t even exist. I didn’t even realize until lunchtime that today is Friday–Saturdays are often workdays for me, too, and the week flies by so quickly that I literally must check my smartphone calendar every few hours to make sure that I’m not missing any appointments because of the fleeting nature of time in an entrepreneur’s life.
I suppose that’s why my mind mentally drifted into such an unexpected place last night, following the imaginary trail of a butterfly whose life probably ceased sometime in the last 24 hours. The human mind can’t exist on such an abstract plane for too long. It evolved over thousands of years in a very grounded environment, learning and growing along with the rest of the universe, correcting its native impulses through action and interaction with nature. Sometimes, nature literally flies in your face, slapping you into the present and reminding you that life isn’t about counting–or, in my case, not counting–the days but living them.
Photo credit: Butterfly on windshield, by Ronaldo Lima, Jr.
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{ 7 comments }
Lovely post. But what to do? Founding your own business is hell on wheels…are you having second thoughts? Do try to get a little rest somehow.
PS: It would be a pity to change the sub-title of your blog to “The Art of Working.”
Nice post, as most of your posts are – light and cheerful but full of good stuff.
I loved this, Marjorie. It was a good day to hear it because after months of intense work, I am taking some time off, and today am off to the Botanical Gardens to look quietly at things. There is an interesting book called “Stopping: How to Be Still When You Have to Keep Going” which is quite wonderful and a treasure to me and which may be of help to you. I will look for butterflies today!
Stephanie (author of Claude & Camille; a novel of Monet)
That sinus thing. Same thing for me on my side of the Atlantic. BRUTAL! And I LOVE the French notion of work and dream of being like that.
Thanks for the thoughtful read.
Take time for your self makes you a better employee.
It appears the French and other countries in Europe are going to have to re-think their social contract with their citizens. Retirement laws are being changed to 67 in some countries because people must work and produce in order to support social programs. That said, all work makes Jill a run-down grrrl. Our lives, like the butterfly’s, are vulnerable. Even God knew we all need one day to take it easy and enjoy. xxoo So happy to have read your post. I’ve missed you!
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