Yesterday I wrote about entering 2013 with a pared-down to-do list and a hopefully streamlined way of organizing my life. No, I haven’t found the Holy Grail of daily planning and organization, but it did make me think of how else my crazy life has affected me.
Who knew that multiple lists, multiple responsibilities, and a multiple-dog household — along with a husband who, may I add, not only has a demanding full-time job at one of the largest hospital systems in the south, but who also launched two (!!) nonprofit organizations in less than 18 months — would add so much stress to one’s life? Not to mention…a little extra weight?
[By the way, speaking of... one of the things I didn't mention in yesterday's post was that I also started an animal rescue radio show called -- natch -- Radio Free Rescue, to add to my other projects in rescue. It's a weekly, hour-long show broadcast every Monday evening, although we're currently on hiatus until after the New Year. See what I mean about too much ambition, too many things to juggle?]
In any case, as I was saying, I’ve always been a bit of an emotional eater, and I’m shocked that, given all the stresses of the past year, I’ve not ballooned 50+ additional pounds. (I was quite an overweight child. At one point, I was 20 pounds overweight, after which I just stopped weighing myself because it was too depressing. Even an additional ten pounds on a small, Asian female frame like mine makes a huge difference, not only in terms of fit but also health.)
Still, there’s definitely more of me to love now, and naturally, I think of it as just one more thing to add to the to-do list: lose weight. Exercise. Eat better. Shop better foods. Stop eating fast-food French fries.
I’d been so busy, but not so busy that I wasn’t aware that I was, shall we say, getting out of shape. I’d been a mostly-steady runner for nearly 13 years, but right at my 40th year, when life became overwhelming and the obligations just piled up and piled up, like most women, one of the first things I dropped was my steady exercise regimen. The fact that I also suddenly developed a serious condition that kept me from running for over six months (I’m just now able to get back to it, and wouldn’t you know it, it’s the dead of winter) didn’t help either. Sure, I continued to walk my dogs most days, but that wasn’t enough to keep me from scarfing down embarrassingly large amounts of food that ain’t good for me, all in an attempt to try and relieve some of the unrelenting stress of running the business and managing a household that had suddenly grown by 50%.
Did I mention that we somehow managed to rescue and temporarily foster additional dogs? And that I spent most of October and November stalking a Mama Dog and her new litter of pups, in the hope that I could capture them all and take them into our rescue group? (I was only able to capture four pups within a two-week period, and after setting traps, driving endless hours around the neighborhood, and spending hours wandering through industrial yards, chasing them madly through the streets during the occasional sighting, and waiting patiently under the hot sun while I kept an eye on a trap I’d set in the middle of some dusty chemical plant, I decided that it just wasn’t going to happen, and that Mama Dog was a lot smarter than I’d given her credit for.) No wonder I’m stressed.
So I end the year with pretty much the same resolution as I had last year: get back in shape. Since I’m now a woman of a certain age, it’s even more important, since my body seems to have suddenly decided to fall apart at the most inopportune moments, and I chalk that up to my neglect of its many, critical needs.
And that’s where the whole, damn-I-need-to-get-organized thing comes into play. I know I should treat exercise like any other important business meeting, i.e., write it down in pen in my calendar, and honor it. I used to run several days a week and even managed to throw in a yoga routine or weight-lifting session every now and then, all without ever writing it down anywhere other than in my running journal. Writing it down like an appointment on my calendar actually induces an actual visceral reaction, sort of similar to how I feel when I eat broccoli because I know it’s good for me, even though it’s my least favorite vegetable. (Or, to be more precise, it’s my most hated vegetable.)
And speaking of vegetables, I can’t even begin to imagine actually monitoring what I eat. Thankfully, B. is vegan and we’re too poor to eat out all the time, so most of our meals are pretty healthy. I just eat too much of them. I recently tried one of those super-duper smartphone apps that lets you keep track of everything you eat, calculate your calories, and even tell you exactly how many calories you should consume if you want to lose a certain amount of weight within a certain period of time. I was so faithful to it — dutifully entering every single morsel of food that entered my lips, so of course I was delighted and so grateful that it seemed to have every single food under the sun in its database — but that lasted exactly four days.
It’s ironic that I can be so disciplined with so many other things in my life that have to do with organizing that life — my many to-do lists, calendars, and that ongoing obsession with finding the perfect project management software for my business — and yet when it comes to diet and exercise, despite the existence of a seemingly infinite number of apps and books and workbooks to help one keep track of said diet and exercise, I’m repelled.
Unlike what appears to be 99% of most Americans, I’ve never actually been on a “diet.” Not South Beach, not the Sonoma Diet
, not the grapefruit diet or Weight Watchers or Nutrisystem or any of the heavily marketed diet programs out there. (Okay, I lied, I once participated in an office-group Weight Watchers when I lived in South Carolina, but that lasted one week and I also was in the best shape of my life. I was just doing it to go along with everyone, you know?) When I needed to lose weight, I just ate less and moved more. I’ve always loved food and hate having to micromanage my consumption of it. The whole idea of weighing my food on a scale — something many diet programs advocate — just baffles me, even though intellectually I understand why so many do it.
And one of the things I love about running is its sheer simplicity. I don’t use heart rate monitors or those Nike+iPod thingies (although I find the idea intriguing). I don’t even listen to music or anything else when I’m running on the street (although on the rare occasion that I run on a treadmill, it’s a must). I spend all my mental energy on finding the right shoes, and then that’s it. I put on my running clothes — Target offers inexpensive, moisture-wicking running togs with prices that make up for the obscene amount of money I end up spending on the shoes — strap on my twelve-year-old Timex Ironman watch (which has outlasted all other Timex watches I’ve since bought for others), open the door, and go. I write what I can in my running journal, when I can, but otherwise, I don’t follow any particular training program. I just run and time myself. I figure out how much I’ve improved based partly on how I feel each time I go out, and partly on how far I’ve run relative to the time I’ve spent running. End of story.
So as you can see, a regimen is not what I want.
Still, I must do something. I’ve been eyeing the P90x program for years, ever since I saw an infomercial at the gym. Okay, I’m not normally a sucker for infomercials, but if you’ve seen it, you know how appealing the sales pitch is. Plus, it appeals to the entrepreneur side of me, the one that loves a challenge and romances the Type A side of my personality. I’ve heard from marathon runners that it kicks your ass, no matter how much in shape you think you are, but that only makes me want it more. No Kathy Smith or cheery Denise Austin here.
Besides, Michelle Obama reportedly uses it, according to her own husband, and she’s the epitome of chic toughness and ambition. How can you say Non?
If you’ve tried the program, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it. Or if you can recommend another, I’m open to it. I’m heading out for a run in the morning, but with the weather turning cold and the days still short, I’m looking for alternatives for when I can’t face running in sub-freezing temps at 7am, or even at noon.
In the meantime, what are your New Year’s resolutions?
About Marjorie
Sorry, sounds like you’ve had a rough year, too. (Tell me about it.) I just turned 46 and do vinyasa yoga 5-6 days a week, plus as much walking as I can fit in. However, I’m having a major shoulder surgery in six days and won’t be able to do yoga to any degree for months and months. I’ve already cleaned up my diet in anticipation of the lost activity. (I will run when I have clearance from my surgeon, but that’s still probably two months.)
Anyway, this is a long way of saying, I’ve accepted that I must be very careful every day about the quantity I eat. I use MyNetDiary on my iPhone, and it helps me so much. If I’m careful, I will lose weight — even in spite of my fluctuating perimenopausal hormones, which I refuse to accept as an excuse for weight gain. I grew up (as an adoptee) with very heavy family members. VERY heavy. And I was always tiny because of my difference parentage. So the idea of doing what the rest of my family did — count calories — was horrible to me, and I resisted it forever. But it honestly works if you stick with it. Four days, as you know, isn’t enough time to forge a new habit. So try it again. Once you start to see a little success on the scale, you know it’ll build on itself and it’ll get easier for you to maintain the habit.
It’s a pain to calculate what some strange item has in calories, but I just Google it and go with the closest estimate, then add a few more calories, just to be safe. I’d rather overestimate my calories than underestimate them.
Anyway, just stick with it. It’s a habit that you have to create. And I’m saying this only because it works.
Amities,
Marsi
Ooh I totally wish you lived close enough to come to our studio and take classes! I love the workout I teach because it is 50 minutes of slow, steady movement that is so intense that it is both cardio and strength training. And because it is low-impact it works great for anyone who has joint or back issues, or previous injury. I was thankful to find something that incorporated strength training because as we get older it is important to lean more heavily into strength training and less into cardio to keep our bones strong and limber. I’ve not done P90X but if it incorporates strength training and you feel that you would actually set aside the time in your own home to do it, go for it! My issue with at-home workouts is that there are too many things at home to distract me from the workout
For me, getting outside the house is key. I say, evaluate your own tendencies and the barriers that usually make you quit, and find something that avoids those barriers.
Thank you for taking so much time and writing this blog. I was feeling slightly down on myself. I gained weight rapidly approx 20 yrs ago when doctors put me on anti inflamatory medications. I am talking about 20 lbs the first week on them. They changed my prescription 3 times and each time it was a 20 lb weight gain each time. I mentioned this to my doctor and he said “Oh don’t worry it will come off as soon as you stop taking the pills it is just water weight”. Well I am telling you it did not come off and I have been gaining ever since. I am now 62 years old and I like you have not been putting myself first for along time. I need to get back to that but I don’t think I ever have put myself first. I have always put everyone’s value higher than mine. This is a revelation that is new to me. I am divorced and raised my two children from ages 8 and 9 on my own. I had 2 full time and 1 part time job at one time. This was a bit much but I needed to put food on the table and pay for sports, clothes etc. I gave up the part time job. With all this I did not neglect my children I went to all sports games and took them to practices and picked them up. We also had dinner around the dining room table everynight. My children are my reason for being here. Without them I would not have survived my divorce. They gave more purpose to life and I did not have much as much time to feel sorry for myself. I have narrowed it down to just one job for approx the last 6 yrs. Enought about myself.
Please keep writing it is so honest in the way you are presenting your feelings. I really do enjoy you even though I don’t know you. I am making my resolution to do more work on myself and try to find out who I am. I maybe not young but I have never really been able to be myself it has always been about others.
I wish you and your family and friends a very Happy New Year full of new experiences and happiness from within.
Grannyk
Bonjour, Marsi! My apologies for the delay in my response. B. has been sick the past week, so I’ve been juggling dog care (lots and lots of dog care!), hubby care, household stuff, work, and natch, getting myself back to good health after a nasty sinus infection myself early last week. So much for kicking off 2013 in good health!
Merci for sharing your story! By now you’ve probably already had the surgery, so I pray that you are recovering well and that you’ll be back to 100% soon. Looks like a lot of us aren’t exactly jumping on the treadmill at the stroke of midnight on the 1st, eh?
I think that the calorie-counting is just too boring and takes all the fun out of eating for me. I love love love food, and to reduce it all to numbers and grams and the like eliminates so much of the pleasure of eating. Instead, what I’ve done is rehaul my diet completely and reduced my intake. I’ll write more in a future blog post, but basically it’s all about cutting back portions, eating tons more veggies, and implementing lots of variety. Because of my illness (still working on it — sinus infections are such a pain!), I haven’t been able to work out at all, but I have been working on getting more sleep. I once read a celebrity quote her trainer saying something like, “You have to eat well, sleep well, and exercise. If you can do 2 out of 3 most of the time, that’s good enough.” That’s my goal — not drastic, but definitely doable. Once I’ve recovered completely from the sinus problem, I’ll be back on the roads.
And like you, I love yoga and hope to get back to that as well. I have a bunch of yoga DVDs — my favorite is Gaiam’s A.M. and P.M. yoga with Rodney Yee and Patricia Walden — as well as the requisite mat, strap, and blocks, so I’ve no excuse! Not to mention that even B. has said in the past that a regular yoga routine (back when he was doing it with me, many moons ago) has helped him (and me!) increase flexibility and eliminate nagging aches.
Salut,
Marjorie
Hiya, Jenny! I’m sorry, I did NOT realize that you taught a class! Now I know how you’ve managed to keep your ENVIOUS figure despite having had two kids.
The class sounds amazing. Where do you teach, and how often? I bet you’re happy to get out of the house on occasion, too, and have your own me-time! That’s so important, especially given the demands on your time from your kids, hubby, household, etc!
I agree with you about the distractions, but with work and other projects really crunching my time, it’s hard to schedule even commute time, so for now at-home workouts are super-convenient, not to mention a lot cheaper.
Salut,
Marjorie
Dearest Grannyk,
Merci merci merci mille for your lovely note! How inspiring your story is — I really appreciate your sharing it with us!
I know what you mean about the meds. A friend of mine went through a horrific tragedy many years ago when her beloved husband of four years died in a motorcycle accident (he was wearing a helmet). She plunged into a deep depression and, more significantly, broke out in a terrible rash that no medication would cure. Her doctor finally put her on prednisone, and her weight ballooned in short order. Several years later, she still hasn’t been able to lose the weight, although I think she’s still deeply depressed in many ways, too, and understandably so.
I took prednisone for a very short period of time after a bad allergic reaction to the IV dye they use during CT scans. I landed in the ER, and the doc put me on a 7-day regimen of the steroid. I swear, I ate two entire boxes of cookies in one afternoon. I was grateful to only have to be on the med for a week, knowing the awful side effects. As one doc told me, it’s the nuclear bomb of medications — it can wipe out what ails you, but in the process it wipes out a lot of other things, too, including the proper functioning of your immune system. I’ve worked hard to avoid it ever since.
Don’t you just love it when docs are so dismissive of concerns like medication side effects, especially weight loss? I think sometimes that they can’t be bothered with the side effects if they’re not what they would consider “life-threatening.” If the medication works, the thinking goes, and healed the original condition, why are you complaining?
I’m not going to lie — I still put my family first in many ways. But I read something in a magazine the other day that really hit home: that we tend to schedule literally everything else, from the most mundane (household chores like laundry, grocery shopping, etc.) to the critical (work appointments, pediatrician appointments, etc.), but when it comes to our own health, its basic needs are thrown right at the bottom of the list, if they’re there at all. Even our own doctor’s appointments are made at everyone else’s convenience.
It’s easier for me to do things on my schedule, given that I work from home, but I still find the martyr model creeping in quite often. I don’t have kids, as you know, but my “family” can be quite demanding in their needs, too. I commit to walking my dogs every day that they’re home (most days) for at least an hour at a time, even though it means putting aside 3 hours for just that (two of the 4 dogs must be walked individually, but fortunately the remaining two smaller ones can be walked together), but that means having no time to run. I’ve dropped a lot of things to take them to the emergency vet when they hurt themselves, but right now I have a cavity that needs attending to and yet I’ve not made the simple phone call to make the appointment with my dentist.
Sigh.
My mother did much the same as you, though — she raised three small children on her own, sometimes working 2-3 jobs at a time. At one point, she tried pursuing a master’s degree on top of that to improve her career prospects, although the demands on her time were so overwhelming she had to drop that. I remember helping her with one job she had: delivering newspapers for the now-defunct Dallas Times Herald. She and I would be parked on the living room floor at 3:30 in the morning, putting newspapers in their plastic bags during rainy days or just wrapping them with rubber bands during clear days, and then driving around neighborhoods delivering them.
How she survived those stressful days, I’ll never know, but it’s one of the truly unsung stories of our modern age: the sacrifices of the single mother. I can tell from your comment that you take pride in taking such good care of your children despite the enormous challenges you clearly faced, and you should be. You have SO much to be proud of. Our world exists because of the sacrifices and gifts of mothers like yourself, so don’t ever apologize for that!
Now, of course, it’s time to take care of yourself. Your children are grown, so now is your me-time, your time to give back to yourself and reward yourself for all that you’ve given your children and the world. Please keep me posted!
Salut,
Marjorie
Once you get past the first week of P90X it becomes addicting. If you’ve been thinking about it then do it at least once.
Bonjour, Brad! I’m so sorry for the delay in my reply! As you can probably tell from my most recent post, I’ve had a rather sickly few weeks!
It’s hard to avoid the P90x commercials, especially on weekends as I flip channels looking for good “background TV” while I clean the house, so it’s definitely on my mind. Right now I’m not in a financial position to invest in the program just yet, but will revisit it in a few months. Merci for the comment!
Salut,
Marjorie